Winnipeg Jets “Goal Song” Alternatives: What They SHOULD Have Picked

Each Winnipeg Jets player now has a “Goal Song”. We analyze their choices and suggest some alternatives that might be better suited to the player.

Professional hockey players are a stoic bunch, seldom prone to any real emotion or temperament (publicly anyway). I could put a Flat Stanley of Kyle Connor in my living room, and it would replicate at least 85% of the real Kyle Connor experience. That is why it was a breath of fresh air when the Winnipeg Jets decided to let each player pick their very own “Goal Song”. A Jet scores a goal; their song gets played.

Firstly, let me congratulate True North Entertainment for realizing the Jets game day experience had grown a bit stale. I love that they are taking swings at personalizing the players. Secondly, I asked my employer for my own play-in song at the office, but that request was summarily denied. It really does pay to be a professional athlete.

The player’s choices were varied and titillating. However, I’m not certain that their selections were optimal. Because nobody asked, I have taken the liberty of reassigning goal songs for a few players, with an analysis of their choices for good measure:

Mark Scheifele  – “The Greatest Show” by the Greatest Showman

Initial reaction: Because of course he did.

Assumed reason for selection: Either Mark believes he is the ‘greatest showman’ or has an unhealthy obsession with Hugh Jackman. Both propositions are troubling.

Song Choice Rating: 2 ½ Stars

Preferred choice: There are no banger songs that prominently feature goats, so I am going with “I Can’t Drive 55” by Sammy Hagar. I mean this kind of thing writes itself. I don’t think Scheifele would be pleased with my selection, but given his partnership with Manitoba Public Insurance – I would surmise that a song with a strong road safety message would be an excellent fit.

Mix-tape, CD, or streaming guy: Scheifele has that wholesome image from a bygone era. As such, I imagine he still prefers the comfort of an old school mixtape.

Will we hear this song frequently this year? My guess is a resounding “Yes”. Scheifele has looked reinvigorated to start the year both offensively and defensively. Scheifele’s opener against the Rangers was a thing of beauty. 7 shots, 2 goals, 3 takeaways, 2 hits, 10-5 in the faceoff circle, and a 61% Corsi. Redemption, thy name is Mark.

Logan Stanley – “Still D.R.E.” – by Dr. Dre

Initial Reaction: Can he even hear music up that high?

Assumed reason for selection: It’s a great song, with a sick hook, but I didn’t know Kitchener Ontario had electricity, let alone hip-hop.

Song Choice Rating: 3 ½ Stars

Preferred Choice: I know, you think I’m going to go with low hanging fruit here, and you’re right. “Tall Man” by Johnny Cash is a no brainer. Kevin Sawyer can have it playing in the background every time he calls a Jets game. For those reading that don’t follow the Jets closely…Logan Stanley is really tall.

Mix-tape, CD, or streaming guy: Stanley is young, but his song choice makes me think he likes the classics, so I would peg him as a CD connoisseur.

Will we hear this song frequently this year? Probably not, but Stanley’s last 2 games against the Leafs and the Blues have been the best of his professional career. He led the Jets in Expected Goals over that span (albeit in limited minutes), but credit where credit is due. If he continues to play like he has, it is going to be difficult to keep him out of the lineup.

Nate Schmidt – “Mambo No. 5” by Lou Bega

Initial Reaction: Really? I guess there is some symmetry with being a one-hit wonder.

Assumed reason for selection: Angela, Pamela, Sandra, or Rita picked it out for him? I have no clue.  It seems to fit the Nate Schmidt brand. Quirky and loveable but in small doses.

Song Choice Rating: 1 star

Preferred Choice: I don’t believe I have had any firsthand experience with a player as gregarious as Nate Schmidt. As such, the pick here is “The Joker” by the Steve Miller Band. I doubt he midnight tokes, but all the player interviews this year suggest he is always up for a good time.

Mix-tape, CD, or streaming guy: Given his selection of song, I wager that Nate doesn’t listen to much music and is content with whatever is on the radio.

Will we hear this song frequently this year? Schmidt is not a goal scorer, but he has looked spritely in the first 6 games. I thought perhaps he was a step slow last season, but given the green light from Coach Bones to jump into the play has rejuvenated him a little. He is talented with the puck.

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If you have your own picks, please feel free to send them along or post them below in the comments section! I’ll tally the best ones and perhaps we start an alternative Spotify playlist.