Extending the Jets and Golden Knights rivalry through Doppelgangers

The Winnipeg Jets succumb to the Las Vegas Golden Knights on Thursday night, leveling their first-round series 1-1.  The game was your typical playoff affair, rife with budding rivalries.

Playoff hockey represents the zenith of sports entertainment, especially when the rivalries expand beyond the ice, and envelope the competing cities themselves. For example, did you know that the Las Vegas and Winnipeg library coalitions are in a heated literary Twitter tête-à-tête?

That is next-level bickering. These two bastions of education have inspired me to stoke the proverbial flames of petty sports dissension – through the patented use of doppelgangers. Let’s have some fun lampooning the Golden Knights through some tepid likenesses:

1. Mark Stone and Jack Eichel look eerily like the real-life embodiment of “Beavis and Butt-Head”

If unable to observe the likeness, try these:

Strap some 80’s heavy metal T-shirts on these guys, and the resemblance is uncanny. Butt-Head is the leader and “devious visionary” (Stone), while Beavis, the sidekick, is the “loose cannon” (Eichel). I don’t personally know Stone and Eichel to any significant degree, but they at least resemble gentleman that enjoy dragging knuckles over an amplified guitar riff.

2. Phil Kessel looks like Zach Galifianakis if he played hockey

Phil Kessel looks like he is in a permanent state of “Hangover” so this comparison is apropos. Googling “Phil Kessel” is a fun exercise. The terms “hotdog” and “hamburger” are automatically prompted, proving that professional athletes come in all shapes and sizes.

Phil Kessel’s aging timeline is a tweak on the classic “Before and After” photo, and resembles more of an “After and After” photo:

3. The Vegas Golden Knight’s mascot “Chance” looks like if “The Thing” from The Fantastic Four has jaundice.

For a town predicated on innovating the entertainment experience, this is simply a gutter ball effort from the Golden Knights. “Chance” is apparently a Gila monster, a rat-like reptile native to the deserts of Nevada. Someone higher up in Knights’ management approved this monstrosity, proving that what happens in Vegas should probably stay in Vegas. Anthropomorphic stuffed animals are a preposterous idea in the first place, but this exceeds even the lowest of expectations.

That should get the pettiness started. The Winnipeg Jets head back home to the friendly confines of the Whiteout, but Jets fans, let’s lean into this rivalry – petty or otherwise.