The NFL is sometimes dubbed the “No Fun League” because it has a propensity to dole out petty punishments for player embellishments and celebrations. The NHL wades into this territory on occasion as well, as the league has adopted a stoic, buttoned-down mantra. That is why goal songs are great.
The Winnipeg Jets adopted individualized player goal songs starting in the 2022–23 season. Remember when Mark Scheifele’s goal song was “The Greatest Show”? I do. In a league where individual personality often goes unnurtured, anything that showcases a player’s unfiltered self should be celebrated.
So, in the interest of getting ahead of the 2026–27 season, I have gone ahead and preselected a few new goal songs for members of the Winnipeg Jets.
Mark Scheifele
“Shoot to Thrill” by AC/DC is a fine selection, but Scheifele’s current goal song feels curated and impersonal.
“What About Me” by Moving Pictures, is what I would choose for him. This power ballad is the definitive anthem for being overlooked. Its lyrics — “What about me? It isn’t fair... I’m standing on the outside looking in” — mirror the shock shared by fans and analysts regarding his exclusion from the Canadian Olympic team despite elite stats. Also, at the 2:38 mark, it really pops.
Scheifele took the high road throughout the selection process, but I would like him to sling a little mud. As Winnipeggers, we are accustomed to being overlooked, so its theme would resonate well with fans.
Jonathan Toews
Jonathan Toews’ goal song from the 2025–26 season was “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits. At the risk of heresy as a Manitoban, this is a bullseye. My apologies to Toews, as I am on record as a staunch supporter, but ironic or not, the pick aged beautifully. If he is back next year on another $3 million deal, I say leave it alone.
Neal Pionk
Neal Pionk’s current song of choice is “Renegade” by Styx, because of course it is. I think Pionk is close with this one, as he has been known to play some renegade defense and seems like a guy who marches to his own drum. I would pivot to “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins because whenever Pionk is on the ice, the puck is likely headed toward a high-danger area, whether it is in the opponent’s crease or his own.
Adam Lowry
Adam Lowry currently goes with “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter. I respect the pandering to the youths, but how did the team let him get away with this?
For 2026–27, Adam needs to embrace his role on this team as the only plausible member likely to drop the gloves when called upon. “Fight for Your Right” by the Beastie Boys will do nicely. With Logan Stanley and Luke Schenn gone, Lowry has become the Jets’ lone pugilist. He will literally have to fight for the Jets’ right to legitimacy. The Jets need to get tougher to play against, as Lowry, and now Koepke, are the only ones filling that role.
Cole Perfetti
For those of a certain vintage, “Jump Around” by House of Pain is a rallying call for days of youthful rambunctiousness. Perfetti has talent, but rambunctious is not how I would describe his game. In fact, Perfetti might be one of the least animated Jets in 2.0 history. His game-tying goal against the St. Louis Blues was the only instance in which I think I have seen his pulse go above 70. Perfetti is all business, and perhaps a little dour, so I believe he should embrace it and employ “I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow” by the Soggy Bottom Boys.
Kyle Connor
“Hell Ya” by Rev Theory does its job with a crowd, but Kyle Connor has now transcended hockey into a broader world of acting and sponsorship.
Which brings me to this: what if I told you that Kentucky Fried Chicken released a song in 2026 called “Finger Lickin’ Machine”? What if I further told you that this funk-dance mix featured almost no lyrics, but rather just repeated “finger lickin’ machine” and “fried, fried, fried” ad nauseam?
You might think I was gaslighting Connor by making this his song choice, but you would be wrong. This song is legitimately good, and I believe fans would love it. KFC should embrace the absurdity, lean all the way in, and nobody should dismiss this idea until they have actually listened to the song.
Gabriel Vilardi
The Macarena is too ’90s and also Spanish. Vilardi needs something Italian — preferably something with a little swagger from the 1970s.
“Prisencolinensinainciusol” is a 1972 song by Italian artist Adriano Celentano consisting of intentionally nonsensical, made-up lyrics designed to sound like American English to non-English speakers. Celentano wanted to demonstrate that people often enjoy the sound of a language, specifically American pop music, without understanding the words.
Vilardi is a fitting match. He is often described as having a deceptive skating style and elite deception in his playmaking. To the untrained eye, he may look like an average skater, but he uses quick feet and body fakes to fool goaltenders, much like the song fools the ear. That might be too heady, but the song is legitimately good.
Connor Hellebuyck
During Hellebuyck’s truculent exit interview with the media, he was vocal about his disappointment with this year and the Jets’ stagnation. To quote him: “Complacency is not going to get us moving forward. So something has got to happen.” It is ironic, then, that his goal song is “Same Old Song” by Riley Green. Even his quote — “I don’t play this game for the money. I don’t play it for the fame” — sounds like something ripped straight from a country chorus. In this case, I would leave it alone. In the spirit of country music: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Cole Koepke
Koepke just signed a two-year deal with the Jets at $1.45 million AAV. Bravo, Winnipeg Jets. Koepke was a bright spot this season and acquitted himself well, especially down the stretch.
His goal song — “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” by the Backstreet Boys — was a last-minute choice he settled on after having to search for one on his phone. When the Jets media team called to ask for his preference, he realized he had not planned one and quickly picked the ’90s hit.
Cole Koepke recorded the ninth-fastest max speed this year among all NHL players at 24.22 miles per hour. That is only 0.5 mph off Nathan MacKinnon and Connor McDavid, who finished second and third, respectively. Koepke has elite speed, and so I suggest “Life in the Fast Lane” by the Eagles. Fairly obvious, I know, but I believe Jets fans would appreciate it.
Vladislav Namestnikov
Namestnikov’s goal song is currently “Danza Kuduro” by Don Omar ft. Lucenzo. I do not know the origin of that selection, and at the risk of sounding callous, I do not care to. What I do know is that “Vladdy” has been moved eight times to seven different teams. He was even traded twice in two days when the Jets acquired him for a fourth-round pick after he had been traded to the San Jose Sharks two days earlier. That is why “I’ve Been Everywhere” by Johnny Cash is perfect for our Russian tumbleweed.
That concludes Part 1 of our two-part series. If you have any suggestions, feel free to reach out to @FSJetsWhiteOut, because in an exercise this contrived, there really are no bad ideas.
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